Widows Wear Stilettos: Grief No Dey Show For Face

Widows Wear Stilettos is a short series written by widowed mother-of-three, Diane Kalu to redefine what it means to be a widow in Nigeria. I realized in the days to come that the toughest battle is in the mind. It felt as though I existed but I was lost, I was living but dead even though I understood everything happening around me. My conclusion was that it will take uncommon strength to win a mental battle.
Grief changes you, it leaves an indelible scar, I hardly recognized who I became. I wanted to fight, but how could I fight an invisible enemy? How could I fight a beast that crawled up on me with memories piercing deeper than a dagger?
This beast derived pleasure in tormenting me, it enjoyed eating me up and regurgitating me yet I remained alive and awake. It would spare me for one second and then in the next, rip me apart. Yet none of these experiences can be conceived by the physical eyes. No one could tell the depth of my pain by just looking at my face because grief no dey show for face.
I desired to fight back so desperately, to be free and be who I was before the grief came, but that me was gone with the wind forever. Even though my spirit was sore and my poor soul seemed helpless, I knew I needed to fight back. The more I fought, the more the pain deepened because it was a mental battle. Who could I run to for help?

The only time I found solace was when I fed my daughter. She slept so soundly and softly with a smile on her face. How can life be so peaceful yet so painful and sad at the same time? Through all of this God wrapped me in his arms and told me everything would be alright. This is a battle every widow fights, a battle against darkness and light. I hope my fight and survival bring you hope and keep your feet steady on those days when you feel you can’t go on.

Diane Kalu lost her husband three years ago and she has been raising their three young children ever since. She runs a support group for young widows to help them find healing and live a better life.

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